Now 18 months sober, the Raiders Maxx Crosby opens up about his journey to the brink and back

March 11, 2020, was the day that Maxx Crosby got sober. And it’s a day the Raiders defensive end always knew had to come.

“I knew from the day that I started drinking that I wasn’t like everybody else,” Crosby said in a recent phone interview. “I couldn’t just have one drink, and it was always a crutch for me. Through high school, through college … and even when I got to the pros at first.

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“I always knew I had a problem, but it got to a point where it started becoming unmanageable and things just got overwhelming for me. It was over the top, and I knew if I wanted to be the player that I wanted to be and the person that I wanted to be, it was something that I had to cut out of my life.”

Crosby’s teammates voted him a team captain last week, making him one of the two defensive players of the seven selected. If you have been around training camp, it’s no surprise that Crosby and Yannick Ngakoue were picked because ever since Ngakoue showed up this spring, the two pass rushers have been pushing each other and teammates at practice.

Crosby, entering his third season, is in the best shape he’s ever been in and is totally recovered from last season’s broken hand and torn shoulder. Most importantly, he’s the happiest he’s ever been.

He took some time to talk about his journey to get here, as he closes in on 18 months sober from alcohol and drugs.

“It’s been an awesome ride so far,” Crosby said. “The first year of sobriety, for everybody, they say, is the hardest, and I know for me, mentally and physically, it was really tough. Getting through that and learning how to live a meaningful life taking care of myself and the people around me that I care about and love … it was an uphill battle, and it’s an everyday process, but life is getting better and better.”

It started in March 2020 when Crosby went to Hollywood and checked into a rehabilitation center for a month. That same day, the Utah Jazz’s Rudy Gobert tested positive for COVID-19 and the NBA suspended its season. Soon after, the rest of the sports world followed and much of society went into pandemic-related lockdowns.

“It’s crazy, when I got there on March 11 … that’s when everything started shutting down because of COVID,” Crosby said. “The NBA stopped their season and everything was put on lockdown, so it was kind of a blessing in disguise in a way.

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“The whole world was put on lockdown, and it really gave me time to go take care of myself.”

Walking into Grace Recovery Center was jarring and depressing at first, but Crosby knew he had to be there.

“I absolutely love those people,” Crosby said.

He then transitioned to a sober living facility in Venice Beach, where he also trained to get ready for the 2020 season.

“I was there the entire offseason, really working on myself,” Crosby said. “There were a lot of ups and downs, but I stayed the course. It was the best decision I ever made. It saved my life and it’s a miracle what the (Alcoholics Anonymous) program has done for me and my family.”

Crosby had wanted to put a year of sobriety under his belt before he told everybody, and some teammates were surprised to hear the news when Crosby told former teammate Will Compton about his sobriety on the “Bussin with the Boys” podcast in March.

“Will has a big platform and I thought it was a good idea to share my story so that it can help other people,” Crosby said.

Crosby said he has a family history of alcohol addiction.

“I’ve had a lot of people close to me deal with it, and it’s part of who I am,” Crosby said.

Crosby also has a teammate in Darren Waller who has been very public about his addiction to opiates and alcohol and his recovery since he joined the Raiders in 2018. Crosby watched from afar on the other side of the locker room at first, and now he and Waller are close friends who attend rehab meetings together every Tuesday night.

“We were always cool, but we weren’t really close before I got sober,” Crosby said. “But just seeing him, I knew I could get sober. And I never thought that would happen, to be honest. … I was just in a bad, bad space. But seeing him gave me hope.

“When I first got sober, I was like, ‘Shit, if Darren can overcome what he did, I can do it. I can dedicate myself like he did.’ I am about to be a year and a half sober, but it’s still an everyday process. I am focused on the now, and having guys like Darren around me is so special to have that in the locker room.”

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It’s not lost on Crosby that the Raiders have long been seen as the renegades of the NFL and the team has now moved to Las Vegas — Sin City — and … two of its best players are drinking club soda and going to meetings every Tuesday night.

“Well, Darren and I have crazy-ass stories, at least,” Crosby said, laughing. “But we can shed light on real-life situations and what we went through, and that can really help other people.”

Special-teams coordinator and assistant head coach Rich Bisaccia also played a big part early on.

“He was FaceTiming me when I first got sober, and that was big,” Crosby said. “He helped me a ton … that was special. He says to find the three things that are most important to you, and obviously sobriety is at the top right next to football and my girlfriend, family and loved ones. Keep that circle small, and keep my priorities in the front, instead of the back.”

For a guy like Crosby, who came out of Colleyville, Texas, with only one college scholarship offer and has always pushed himself, admitting that he wasn’t strong enough to handle his over-drinking by himself — that he couldn’t control the situation — was a big hurdle to get over.

“Any guy in AA will tell you, ‘You can’t do it alone.’ That’s a fact,” Crosby said. “I tried to get sober multiple times in the past. I tried to do it by myself and white knuckle it, ‘do it my way’ and whatever, but eventually, it didn’t work.”

Crosby was, in fact, sober his entire last season at Eastern Michigan .. after getting in a drunk-driving accident leaving a party that spring.

“I wrecked my car and got arrested,” Crosby said. “I knew I was going to face some kind of suspension. Coach (Chris) Creighton told me it was going to be a two-game suspension, but that second game was against Purdue … that’s a huge game. At Eastern Michigan, if you’re playing a Big Ten team, that’s a monstrous game. I was like, I cannot miss that game. And I was waiting for a couple of weeks to see what he was going to do. It was a scary time.”

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Creighton made Crosby a deal.

Crosby had to stay sober the entire season, get drug-tested and breathalyzed frequently, do a lot of community service and the suspension would only last the first game. If Crosby drank after any game or failed a test, he would be suspended again immediately.

Crosby was planning to enter the NFL Draft early after that junior season, so it was a no-brainer. And a white knuckler.

“He challenged me,” Crosby said. “And I stayed sober and was able to get to the draft. Without that challenge, I don’t know if I would be here today. Looking back on it, obviously, I went to the pros and had my struggles again, but a year and a half later, our relationship is so strong. (Creighton) always reaches out to me.”

Crosby stayed sober for nine months without working a program, until he exhaled after getting picked by the Raiders and getting that first big paycheck.

“I was a pro,” Crosby said. “Didn’t have to go to class anymore, less responsibility and more money and you want to fit in with the guys. I started again and things got worse and worse.”

During the draft process, the drunk-driving accident was the first thing Crosby was asked about by every prospective NFL team. And as he answered, Crosby thought to himself that he needed to address the problem with a full-fledged plan and program someday.

That day came a year later.

“The AA program, with the 12 steps and everything you have to do to truly heal yourself, is a different experience,” Crosby said. “I could go on all day about it. The quote that stuck with me the most is, ‘The one thing you have to change is everything.’ The people around you, your daily routine, everything in my life had to change.”

Besides the support of his current and former coaches and teammates, Crosby also now has a team of counselors, AA members, mentors, sponsors and housemates from Grace and the transition center pulling for him and staying in touch.

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“It’s been an amazing journey,” Crosby said.

(Photo: Chris Unger / Getty Images)

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